My sCRAP theory of Universe!!!

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction though it derives inspiration from lot of real sources I strongly recommend to categorize it as a fiction. I am accounting such to avoid many legal implications I would have to face after certain religious communities, or scientific research organizations read this piece. And I just remembered that out of seven fundamental rights I have one known as “Freedom of expression”, but, having said that I would still make an apology (can be taken as a written apology If anyone must :P ) to all such people whose sentiments will be hurt from the context below and in bollywood terminology “I don't like cheap publicity”!! :)

 This started when many gods were on bench and their efforts were being accounted under idle time. The senior management of heaven then decided to bring upon a new project to employ extra strength to stop brain drain and to efficiently utilize the intellect.

A separate committee of chosen gods were formed and brain storming started on what the project should be, the idea was to take up a long-term endeavour which would be challenging , engaging and entertaining. Finally, the project was finalised and submitted for approval with the senior management of heavens, the project was officially named as “Universe” codenamed as “Genesis”.  But the management was not appeased with this so they thought of testing the lot and kept the project timeline of 7 days.

There was a huge event conducted to identify right candidate for the various roles. And , thus begun the work, on first morning there was a chaos as there were so many resources and there was no concrete plan of action , so it was decided that there would be small teams developing independent pieces and then all of them will be plugged together to form the complete system.

And, thus 5 days passed with any more hassles, on the 6th noon the senior management called for a review meeting to track the proceedings. The summary of the session was that the project was on track but there was a complicated component pending to be finished and tested before it could be plugged and system could be released. So the management decided to by-pass peer reviews, impact analysis, design reviews and quality checks for the 7^th day. Also, there were best of the lot to work on this component on the last day so everyone was confident enough to do all the right things.

The pending component was none other than the human-being, this was the main entity, and an intelligent process designed to control and run the whole system. As the deadline approached near the team decided to develop humans in a dynamic way so that there features, actions could be controlled at run-time. There was team meeting called to discuss the plan , in the discussion a smart work around was proposed by one god that he would design a object name “random” which would provide a unique type of object instance so every human unit will behave in a different manner. This approach was adopted as it was in accordance with both concepts of “redundancy” and “normalisation” and also was simpler and less time taking. Finally, the system was released with deviation, such as the component human beings was not fully tested with the complete system.

After Universe started running, many errors were reported but to due to fear of bad appraisals, most of them were removed from the reports to management. But, once the reported issues started pouring like rain the support and maintenance team found it difficult to handle the situation, and, the matter was escalated to senior management. The senior management called for board meeting and started the review. The summary of review meeting revealed that there was major logic defect in the function “random” and as it was used mostly in every definition and declaration of parts of component human beings the whole component has started behaving erroneously and this has resulted in an unstable system. As the management probed for the root cause a 5-WHY analysis was carried.

The first why, “why the system became unstable?” the reason was given as “the component human has invoked unauthorised processes, has become resource hungry and there are deadlocks at some areas in system”.

The second why, “why the component human was behaving so erroneously then planned?” the report said that “component human was given most of the rights and access privileges and it also has integrated intelligence algorithm; basically the intelligence algorithm is defective.”

The third why, “If there was a state of art of thing like an intelligence algorithm in place why it was defective when there were best of the lot working on it?” for this it was said that “the algorithm as using an object “random” which drove the algorithm to produce out of range output values.

The fourth why, “Why there were no validations in place for the random object?” the reason was stated that “as a smart work around to cater the need of designing a sophisticated entity this approach was adopted.”

The final why “Why design review and impact analysis were not carried out?” this was answered as “due to time constraints such processes were avoided taking a tailoring to plan”.

The final clause of the report said that, it should be noted that “If the component human continued to work in the same manner then the whole system will crash in the near future” and to this there was remark put in bold font “The component human cannot be controlled from outside the system due to its abstract nature so the resolution is to scrap the system.”

Moral of the Story:

By now you might have figured out that there is no point of the story and only the title is apt ;). 

I really cannot promise to put something good to read but I can always try :).  signed Sangy 28-Aug-2010